YORICK VAN WAGENINGEN
Rooney, you've been declared mentally incompetent by the state because your hair is weird and your earrings look kinda like the aforementioned hair. As a result I've been assigned as your guardian to manage all of your finances, which I'm more than happy to do after putting my greasy wiener in your mouth.
ROONEY MARA
I'll do this, but only because being emotionally scarred is the easiest way to add a shred of complexity to an invincible ass-kicking ninja bisexual superhacker.
YORICK VAN WAGENINGEN
Holy shit, that worked? In that case, I'm going to tie you down and violently sodomize you as well.
ROONEY MARA
Hey, rape is one thing, but anal rape is crossing the line! Now I will seek revenge by sodomizing you with a steel dildo and tattooing you with the list of movie roles you will never be offered because you took this one!
Reference: Girl with the dragon tattoo in 5 minutes
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